Love is not a feeling. It is what you do.

You don't know what love is.

On this, I would actually bet money if I were a betting woman.

Love is not a feeling.  What does this mean?

The most common, and destructive, misconception of love is that it is a feeling. The experience of falling in love is a sex-linked erotic experience, whether consciously or subconsciously. This experience is also temporary; no matter with whom we "fall in love," this feeling of ecstatic lovingness always passes. The honeymoon ends. The bloom always fades.

This "falling in love" effectively traps us into marriage. It is a scientifically documented neurological phenomenon that diminishes at about 18 months into the relationship. That love you feel for your boo?  It is just hormones and neurotransmitters. 

I'm sorry to burst your bubble.

"Falling in love" has the illusion that it will last forever. This myth of romantic love has us believing that "he is The One," that he will satisfy all your needs in union and harmony.

The problem is that this person will NOT satisfy or meet all your needs. Friction will arise. Dreadful mistakes will be made. And then you live unhappily ever after.

That will certainly be the case if you "fall in love," and "feel like you're in love."

Love is not a feeling, as I said.

A genuinely loving person will take loving and constructive action toward the person you consciously is having difficulty with....your partner....even if you are angry at him.

This takes compassion and wisdom.

Commitment.

You would realize that a commitment to him is necessary for you to manifest your concern effectively.

THE PARTNERS MUST REGULARLY, ROUTINELY, AND PREDICTABLY ATTEND TO EACH OTHER AND THE RELATIONSHIP NO MATTER HOW THEY FEEL.

Throw the "feeling" out the window. Concentrate, instead, on DOING.

In fact, and this is important, when the mating instinct...the "I'm in love feeling"....ENDS, this is when GENUINE LOVE begins.

Genuine love is a choice.

Volitional.

Not emotional.

The person who truly loves does it because of a decision to love.

Did you love him?

You can answer this question: look for this kind of action in your behavior.

Look for evidence of this kind of love in your behavior with him.

What did you find?

From The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck