Why is someone a jerk all the time? What makes someone so difficult to get along with? What makes someone an "asshole?" And how are these people different from "abusive narcissists" or "sociopaths?"
They've been called manipulators, liars, cheaters, "bad boys," "crazy bitches," assholes, crazy makers, abusers, nutcase, jerk, or just plain crazy. We also call them the personality disordered. By definition, these people have personalities that prevent them from getting along with others.
Diagnoses and labels are merely words that describe just a scintilla of the horrible behavior you have probably witnessed. Cut through the terminology and look hard at behavior, how they view the world, and how they interact with people and animals. We need to recognize them for who and what they are: dangerous.
How do you know when you've met one of these characters? Look for the following:
Attitudes that impair healthy interpersonal relations
Erroneous and dysfunctional beliefs about how the world works
Unyielding disregard or contempt for the truth and honesty
Pervasive sense of entitlement
Overestimated and dysfunctional sense of their own worth; this is NOT self-esteem! It is hubris and arrogance
Disdain and disregard for others' value or dignity
Shallow, superficial, abusive, exploitative thoughts and behaviors
Lies, manipulations, deceptions employed to gain advantage over others
Impression management to keep an inflated self-image
Jekyll and Hyde personality or, more correctly, a False Self and his true self. The former is charming, the other abusive.
Keeps you at an emotional distance with the purpose of manipulating or exploiting you
Regrets getting caught, but not his or her actual behavior
Unable to feel genuinely bad or shameful about their behavior
Incongruity: words and behavior don't match. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
Problematic temperament: moody, angry, tantrums, low frustration tolerance, reactive, "walking time bomb."
Impulsively does things to hurt others without thinking or remorse
Inability to learn from their mistakes or experiences
Behaves as if they are the center of the universe. No one else matters
Oblivious to emotional injury he inflicts on others
Contempt for authority and following the rules
Validates and pursues his own goals without seeking consensual validation or consent from his partner
Insatiable appetite for admiration, often manifesting in multiple simultaneous sexual relationships
Views others as objects to meet his needs or bring him pleasure
Know someone like this? Run. Fast.