There is only one way to heal and recover from a relationship with an abuser, manipulator, and narcissist: you must go cold turkey. “Cold turkey” is a phrase to describe a complete and abrupt withdrawal of all addictive drugs or anything else on which a person has become dependent.
And yes, the withdrawal can seem unbearable.
I know this sounds harsh: after all, you've made a substantial investment. If you walk away, you'll have nothing to show for your time and energy except a broken spirit. But walk away you must.
Your manipulator has become just like an addictive drug because he or she has worked very hard to change your mind -- and even your brain -- so that you have become emotionally dependent. He has worked hard to “win” you, has sought power and dominance over you, has become one-up and in control, he is seductive, and he knows what to say to abandon any resistance to get you to do what he wants. He will capitalize on your weakness, catch you unaware or unprepared, and then manipulate you until he gets what he wants.
In light of these facts, how can you detach yourself if he always works to have the upper hand?
You must go cold turkey, and STAY AWAY:
- No contact, phone calls or textsdo not accept any attempts to contact you
- Do not see him, talk to him, or listen to him
- None. Zilch. Absolute.
How many different ways can I say it? How can I stress the importance of staying away? You must believe me when I say that the only way you will recover from the damage inflicted upon you by the emotional abuser is to cut him off completely, and fight against his or her efforts to get back in touch with you.It is pure manipulation. The False Self is reappearing do make you do the abuser’s bidding.
Run. As fast as you can....