Ignore the truth to preserve your denial

“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

It is difficult to imagine the potential damage inflicted by an abusive narcissist. They are pure, honest to goodness predators. You must understand their method and madness or risk becoming their victim.

If you feel I have degraded to the over-dramatic, read on….

This is the true story about Ken, a Brooklyn dentist with a thriving practice. Tall, handsome, and intelligent, he was quite a catch. Ken and his brother were raised by their parents in a small Indiana town where he graduated from high school, joined the Navy, and studied to become a dentist.

Ken is the perfect example of an abusive narcissist whose cold hearted vitriol was directed towards the women in his life. He particularly enjoyed manipulating a new woman with the intention of bedding, impregnating, marrying, and then dumping them.

Over time, his abuse became more vicious and his psychopathy eventually had fatal consequences. Red flags exploded in every relationship, but he mollified their gut feelings,  instincts, and common sense. Their resolve was eroded by Ken’s manipulation, and their ability to think critically exterminated by his gaslighting.

Ken’s abusive personality emerged after his high school sweetheart dumped him for another boy. Seething with revenge, he vowed to never let another woman get the best of him again, setting in motion his sociopathic behavior.

At more than six feet tall with beach boy blond hair and fabulous musculature, Ken used his good looks to get his foot in the door. He fabricated a sort of “aw shucks” demeanor that he found brought out the caring, empathetic instinct in certain women.

Ken met Emily in college. One day, out of the blue, he asked her to marry him. Enamored with his romance and good looks, Emily agreed. Unfortunately for her, she was the one who had to work to pay their bills and she soon found out she was pregnant. Confronted by Emily and their growing family, Ken decided to start making a financial contribution by dealing marijuana. He was above a legitimate job and enjoyed the risky nature of being a drug dealer. Emily was appalled.

Then, just as suddenly as he had asked Emily to marry him Ken that he was leaving, accusing Emily of “fucking around” and denying the baby was his. In Emily’s ninth month, Ken cleared from their apartment all his possessions. She soon gave birth to their baby girl and Ken never saw her, or the baby, again.

Why? In Emily’s seventh month of pregnancy, Ken met a stewardess with whom he had “electric eye contact.” It was after their first night in bed that Ken left Emily. Marilyn had no idea that Ken was married much less that his wife was pregnant.

Eventually, Marilyn discovered Ken’s other life and his lies and tried to end their relationship. Typical of the abusive narcissist who cannot bear to be left, he pulled out all the stops, said the divorce was imminent, and that he’d like nothing more than to marry Marilyn and have a child.

Abusive narcissists need a harem of women in their life; Ken cheating on Marilyn not long after he left Emily. She didn’t find out, but Marilyn ignored many other red flags. Ken stole Marilyn’s money and one evening during a fight, he raised a clenched fist in her face. But Ken always was able to  lure Marilyn back into his game with rationalizations, partial truths, and gaslighting.

Five years into their relationship, Ken tried to murder Marilyn by lacing her hot chocolate with chloroform. Instead of calling the police, she called the Navy chaplain who assured her that Ken just had difficulty dealing with his emotions, tended to allow things to build up, and blamed Marilyn for her growing “lack of respect and appreciation from his wife.” She doubted and blamed herself and felt guilty for instigating his behavior.

Despite the attempt on her life, Marilyn allowed Ken back into her life and they reconciled. Their daughter Astrid was born later, and he took a job as a dentist with a newly established dental center near New York.

Soon, Marilyn realized he had returned to his old ways and was seeing other women. She zeroed in on one particular girl, a new hygienist in his office named Teresa. Teresa knew nothing about Marilyn, or for that matter, Emily, his marriages, or his children. Again, Ken sought the unbelievable highs and fireworks of new sex and passion with Teresa.  Like an addict, the abusive narcissist seeks to replicate that first sexual high and when he can’t, seeks additional woman to exploit.

After a year of dating, Teresa became pregnant and Ken asked if the baby was his. She slapped him. In addition to this insult, she learned Ken was still married to Marilyn. Teresa opted for an abortion as she felt she had no choice. Ken patted her hand and said, “Our time will come,” and left open the vague possibility their relationship would continue.

On Thanksgiving Day Ken dined with Marilyn, their daughter, and Marilyn’s brother and sister in law. After dinner, Ken walked out the door without a word, leaving a note saying he’d be in touch and leaving Marilyn and Astrid to fend for themselves.

On his own and free to do as he pleased, he rented an apartment on Staten Island so he could see Teresa every day of the week. Trouble soon erupted at work when his dental practice partner discovered Ken had been stealing money. An argument in the office ensued and, rather than be horrified, Teresa defended Ken. She was fired.

Ken continued to have sex with Teresa although he still was not divorced from Marilyn. Teresa wanted marriage and a family, so Ken kept Teresa interested by telling her his divorce from Marilyn was imminent.

On Ken’s birthday, Teresa planned an elaborate and expensive celebration only to be stood up. While she waited alone and furious in his apartment, Ken was visiting Marilyn and the two of them ended up together in bed.

Like all victims of abusive narcissists, there were many things Teresa would never know about Ken but, after they married, the red flags turned into horrifying nightmares.

Ken first attempted to murder Teresa on their honeymoon, beating her to near death but stopping short of homicide. Ken bludgeoned her so violently that the paramedics first thought she was dead. In the hospital afterward, she could not remember a thing about the attack and believed Ken’s story that burglars had entered their hotel room and attacked them. She never questioned why she had nearly been killed while Ken sustained a couple of scratches.

A year after she survived Ken’s attack, Teresa gave birth to their son, Philip.

Months later, Teresa’s hideously beaten body was discovered in a roadside ditch in a remote mountainous area of eastern Pennsylvania. She had been sexually assaulted then heinously and brutally murdered.

Dr. Kenneth Z. Taylor was convicted of murdering Teresa by bashing her skull into three pieces, raping her, dragging her bloodied body through the house and rolling it up in carpet. He put her corpse into the trunk of his car, drove to see Marilyn and Astrid and stayed the weekend. After a week driving around with Teresa’s body still in his trunk, he finally dumped the corpse in a roadside ditch in a remote mountainous area of eastern Pennsylvania.

Hard to believe, but true.

Google “Dr. Kenneth Z. Taylor” for more information, or read Peter Maas’s book, “In A Child’s Name: The Legacy of a Mother’s Murder.”